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Not even Once
Hello ,I don't have any titles for this letter. I'm not going to bore you with details about my life before meth .I really can't remember the way I used to be other than ,I use to have joy.
I was 15 in 1990 when a started drinking and smoking pot. Meth was not rampant back then. I was 19 when I tried meth. I am from a small town in MT. at that time there wasn't much known about meth. There were no bill boards ,commercials ,movies or T.V. shows (intervention and such). At first I hated it. I couldn't just come home and go to sleep , I loved my sleep. Then I was just using on the weekends and not every weekend. I moved out of state to NV to get away from meth at the age of 21. Little did I know the friend that I was moving to be near was also using . I didn't ask, I knew she and her man like to party but I didn't know it was with meth. Long story short first weekend I'm in my new town I'm using again. I lived there for 3 years and did meth almost every day. If I wasn't mething it up I was on ecstasy. I snorted, smoked and finally shot at which point I hit rock bottom. I moved back to MT. was clean for two years. Moved to WA. Met a Guy my husband. We were using on weekends. I got pregnant 2 years into our relationship. I was using the first month and one week of my pregnancy I quit when I found out, but to little to late. The damage was already done. My daughter God love her is so smart and sweet .She is how ever very clumsy and has poor balance I believe this is a result of the drugs I used in the first month of my pregnancy. She also has ADD. Which I also attribute to the meth as well. I have been clean ever since I found out I was expecting my first child. I have been sober 6 years and would sooner die then ever touch that poison again. I have had two more children who seem to not have the same issues as my oldest. ( yes I am ashamed of my self ,I feel guilty everyday for the things my daughter has to endure because of my addiction)
I myself will never be the same. I am sick all the time. I have ulcers all the time. I have had to have hundreds of dollars worth of work done to my teeth. I have troubles talking to people I always feel like they will judge me some how (paranoid). I am constantly tired, I sleep all the time. When I get a cold the mucus runs into my ears and throat instead of my nose. I have a very short temper and get exhausted fast. So if that is not enough to make a person stay away from meth I don't know what is, I wish I could turn back the clock but since I can't maybe someone can learn from my stupidity. I used meth for 8 years. I'm 33 and feel like I'm 80, most of the time.
PLEASE DON'T DO METH AND IF YOU ARE STOP. Your killing your self and the people who love you. |
Click Here to Get Clean
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May, 2012
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